Reasons

It is Sunday in America. My mother had stayed for the night and we both went to the church. I came burdened and empty in my soul. There was no desire to greet people or even rejoice. This emotional condition stayed with me until the evenening. During the day, my mum and I ate a lot of different delicous food, but it did not relive us both from feeling alone and sad.

When she left home, to her apartment, I prayed and waited on the Lord. After reading few scriptures, the understanding came to me about the sutuation.

Let me tell you. Last night I was awakened by the dream. I saw Sam and there was another girl who did not notice him, but he followed after her. I, on the other hand, noticing Sam, pursueded some Christian activity. It was a group of young people who did something for the Lord. I remember thinking that I do my choice in pursuing Jesus and His activites, but it felt pain concerning Sam. Whe I awoke around 5 am, there was already feeling of discourgament and grief.

I remember going to church speaking ooutloud: It's been so long since we separated and you still concern about him. I counted months: It was about September, and not it is December: more than 3 months.

I analyzed and pondered about the other day: candles and carols night. I saw him at Reardon singing and feeling glad for him. However, it is when I saw him leaving the auditorium with anoth young lady. He gave us double hugs for both my mum and me and left. I wanted him to leave and just ignore the situation. So I waited to think about it and cast it aside and it came over me this Sunday.

Lord,
Thank You so much that even this situation are all redeamable. I thank you tha tby Your great mercy and plan You did not let me be int eh relationahip with Nick cause I will never be where I am other wise. Thank you that You, Jesus Are the One and Best. Give us courage to face the truth and despise the lost and Run after You.
You knwo that it is painful to me because at times I get hopeful and then experience a wave of hopeless days, etc. But You are my Victory and Together we will find stregnth. You are for me.
SO I pray that You would richly bless Samuel with Your presence and guidance. Forgive me for any offenses and griefs related to him. Let him live the way You ordanied for him and make him successful in all he does. I bless the relationships he chooses to engage in. May he be happy and restored to the fullness in Jesus Name.
God bless you.

Father, Thank you for Your Son Jesus. For Your precious free gift to believe and live in Christ.

In love, Katya

List

Chuck Pierce in the prophetic word spoke this phrase: "make a list of things you want to know and I will not limit My revelation to you this hour."

1. Love of God
2. Faith
3. The Gospel
4. The Family
5. the Dance
6. Commune with Jesus face to face
7. Death and Life in Christ
8. Words
9. God's knowledge about us before our birth and His plans for the future.

My goal is to learn from Jesus, because He is my Best teacher. I also rely on te work of th Holy Spirit in me. May the ocean of love and the faith of God be near me day after day.

I want to be focused on one thing, or in other words, on important purposes in Christ. I see the main goal right now is to commune with Jesus face to face and learn the Word from Him. Then I want to be sent to preach the Gospel to people. My next desire is that passion for romance, sexual desires and longings for a relationship will go to sleep and rest but only the LOVE for Jesus be ACTIVATED daily.

I could already sayt that the work of Christ in me had started. He vistited me and taught about the love. Continue...

Lord, dear Jesus Christ,

the Life in the Spirit is very important. We need to be aware the way we talk and live by faith in the Son of God. Most important is to commune with You face to face.

I want to repent for the words speaking about myself in unbelief. Here I would like to speak the words of building up toward myself through You and Your Word.

Thank you so much that You gave me life through Jesus. I am a new creature who lives a life not in the flesh but by faith.
Thank You for displaying Your strength and power in the areas of the weakness or limits. However, May You perform miracles through the dances and songs that I do. May You display anointing that sets captive free, Touch people through this vessel.

Thank You very much for the LOVE, God!!!! Thank YOU For the LOVE and Your FAITHFULNESS!

On Saturday nights right after the prayer meeting, I had a dream. There was a beautiful long dress (bage or sand color) on me. At first it covered by very unatractice coat (dark blue) as to cover the dress. But as I came into the classroom and found a place to seat, the professor asked me to tell my story, so I stood up and the first thing I did was to uncover my dark coat. I said, "You probably surprised that I am wearing this dress, but let me take this coat off." People were laughing. So I was in the dess, feeling very beautiful and gorgeous. The very next day, on Sunday I wore something new and beutiful and tried to experience the same feeling of worth that I had in my dream. It was awesome!!!!

Today the Holy Spirit reminded me to go back to the prophecy given by Chuck Pierce on www.elijahlist.com . And there the Lord let me understand that He has given a mantle to wear of freedom and glory for the next 14 months. Our goal is to stay and abide in His presence and worship!!!!!!!! This is exactly what has been going on.

I bless the Lord, my Father in HEvaen, His SOn Jesus Christ and beloved Holy SPirit.

Katya

Blessed be the Name of Jesus,

This posting is about searching and struggling. I feel warning in my spirit and yearning not to forsake the presence of God. Despte the fact of intense and enjoyable time spent with Samuel (Gabriel) for the last two or three days, my soul is deeply yearning not to be escaped from the love and the presence of God. I hunger to go to the prayer meeting with Judy. I see the needs of things to pray for, such as Zimbabwe, Sam's needs, etc.

The interesting fact that I already received three letters from N., and of course, I did not reply to any of them. Sharing this with my mom, she noticed the pattern that whenever I and Sam are doing well N. appears on the page.

So, my prayer is to be in tune with the Holy Spirit and remian ALERT in this time. Lord, may you awake my soul from slumber and help me to stand in prayer with brothers and sisters in Your Holy Presence. You are still entroned in Heven and praised by Your people.
May Your name be glorified.

I ask Your Protection over Your people across the nations.
May the fire of God come down to purge us from sins and faults
May Your love covers us like the wings.
May You seal us in the covenant of the Blood of Jesus Christ.

In Jesus Name, Amen

Crossroad

I had a dream today and right after the dream I was awake. The only part I remember is seeing the library and suddenly Sam looked at me: his face was so beautiful adn shone like an angel. And I heard the word "crossroad". I know this dream is from the Lord, because it was so bivid and thelook of Sam's eyes were like of angel piercing. And I have to say that all that was like in a moment, instant.

I went online and searched for meaning.
1. intersection: a place where two or more roads meet or cross each other, especially in a rural or quiet area
2. rural community: a small town or community located at a crossroads ( takes a singular verb )
3. meeting place: a central meeting place that has a lot of activity ( takes a singular verb )
4. decisive moment: a time when an important decision must be made

In my heart, even in the dream I knew it was about the decision or choice that Sam is facing concerning me. He had three dreams of similar account a month ago. Three days in a dream God would bring me to him and let Sam decide whether he wanted or not to be with me. But everytime Sam would wake up without making a decision in his dream.

By the way, we have met yesterday. It went very well and there are some sweet things he said and I felt satisfied. But I know that he is in the season of a crossroad: last year at college, planning his stay for a month in Italy and other things.

Is there a word for him, Lord? Is there a way you want him to be encouraged during this time?

May You be near him and guide him to the choices that will glorify Your name.

Water why?

This maybe a long posting but it is very fresh and important.

First of all, I will try to recall the dreams that I had recently that were tighly connected to the water. Several days I pondered about the meaning of seeing and beeing in a water.

For example, today I was in a pool and made deep jumps into the water and out. It was wonderful and colorful dream. The jumps were more sure, quick and confident.

My first dream was several days ago. I was behind the window and observed the see and the sheap that was in the process of building. I asked what it was and there were several workers standing with their feet on the water. I was surprised in my dream. In the same dream right outside of the place I observed the sea and the sheap, I saw a car, I opened the door and the water came inside of the right seat.

The very next dream on the following night was involved with water too. This time it was a river. A friend of mine walked with her ankles in the water and on a thin line. I also was surprised.


Today I hvae received a revelation that the Lord is moving me into a new and unfamiliar place. That is why I was surprised in all my dreams. In addition to that, I have encountered several temptations and attacks from satan, but the Holy Spirit taught me this word: "you need perseverance... do not shrink away...".

I am in awe of the Lord!!!!!

"my soul thirst for You.
My body longs for You"

You need Perseverance

Hellod dear readers of my blog,

I greet you today in the name of the Lord.

Last night I had an experience that led me to evaluate some things. I did not resist the temptations and after that I prayed about the reason for that. The holy Spirit pointed out the scriptured in Hebrews that illuminate the problem. I NEED PERSEVERANCE IN TIMES OF PRESSURE.

35So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 37For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. 38But my righteous one[f] will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."[g] 39But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved. (Hebrews 10: 35-39)

Temptations are overcome even during the pressure when we master perseverance.

Then I sensed the Holy Spirit's direction: Take your time and effort deliberately finish your own and someone else's job. For example, wash the dishes.
I was still writing this phrase and stood up and went to the kitchen and washed all the dirty dishes in the sink. I wrote a letter to a friend with whom I am required of patience and perseverance.

Today during the work, I deliberately studied the material on perseverance and practicaly acted it out. I send emails to people who waited my responses or certain actions. I thought of continuing woorking on dancing and singing with the "Dust", abotu my long term papers and others.

And Thank You Blooger for allowing me to use this cite to continuosly write the path I am walking and the lessons I am learning.

God bless you!

enjoying my present time

I really enjoy this day and this hour. The present moment is around me like a blanket, it covers me from anxiety and haste. I love bein gat this moment and doing the things I need with love and extra time.

Today, I have spent almost an hour seraching and looking through different books on dance. The printed copies of the exercises and certain moves added to my bag. The worship leader from Parl Place emailed me to notify about the preparation for the dance cantata "Breath of Heaven".

Then Papa Oleg called several times, Iana gave a call too. It is a very lovely day, where I enjoy the present moment.

T H A N K Y O U L O R D !

People have things to say

HELLO dear friends,

I would like to share with you abou ttwo meaningful conversations that I had recently.

To keep their names private, I will identify them as:

October 28, AN ELDERLY FEMALE SEMINARY STUDENT who said: "Do your best to honor God".
October 29, AN ELEDERLY MALE SEMINARY STUDENT who said: "Build precious memories with your mom. Enjoy every single day with her."

I think it is important to stop and to listen to what people say to you. I have been told and instructed to honor God and to build precious memories with my mom.


P.S. Would it be a great idea to have a blog of the things people say to you that are meaningful and special?

eat and are satisfied

For the last few days, the Lord gave me so much food to eat. At some point I was even noticing how much food I eat. So I prayed honestly to God, hoping that food will not become something more important than God. THe same thing with the things I have in my room. There are so much stuff. WHat shall I do? I am thinking where and what to give away.

As I prayed, the Lord reminded me the scripture that it is not because of righteousness or what we have done that the Lord is good to us. But as I read this scripture from Deuteronomy, I found an answer to my wondering concerns.

Deuteronomy 8: 10
When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land He has given you.
Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God...
Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then you heart will become proud an dyou will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of slavery.


Thank You Dear Lord,
I love you and THank You for Answering to my heart issues and concerns tonight.
You are great among all others. No one can take Your place, Holy One.

Who am I?

Today, I had issued some things in my mind and shared them with Rhyse.
The issue is whether I am a missionary or a preacher.

When we talk about missionary, I feel down and disinterested,
whereas when we talk about preaching, I feel passion and ignited.

Lord, what's the problem and dilema?

I hope to hear from You either confirmation or correction.

Katya

healing and the Redeemer

Today, I am meditating about two topics: healing and the Redeemer.

There is one article that I need to read "Navajo Medicine" and I want to compare the practice of healing in two cultures: Indian and Christian. In addition, yesterday my papa Oleg called and shared that he was very sick. That day the scripture that I read was James 5: 14-15.
As I was reading the materials, I saw that Christ always takes our sins, burdens to Himself; this is an act of redemption. We were brought with the price, the death of Christ on the cross was a redemption.

This is a wonderful Monday. Early in the morning I started doing my homework. The Lord provided the questions that I supposed to answer from the book. He Alone Knows my needs and provides everything. I praise Him!

It is a beautiful day: warm and breezy. Last night the Lord blessed with a great rehearsal of Arabic songs. Even though my whole day was of sadness and trial, the evening was so annointed!!! I praise Him! Rhyse and I stayed until midnight at Armanso, Zen and Rory's place and our band "Dust" had a great time in worship and practice.

I saw how God knows my needs and cares for them. It is obvious!

Oh, today I felt and anticipated to see Sam. Indeed, he came to the lab and sat next to me writing his paper. The thing is he looked completely strange to me, not like I knew him before. He did not speak with me much, even though I tried to engage a little in conversation. After I wrote my paper, I just left. It became clear that I am no longer of interest to him. It is ok. One day Job said something like this: "naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." (Job 1:21).

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that my heart and all my life will be of worship to You alone.
P.S. The great two songs I discovered by God Chasers: "Will you worship" and "Hungry".

love and peace

My goal is to live every day with LOVE and PEACE. I think that other roles such as being a student, a mother (one day), a minister or any others are only additional species of who we are. But the life in the Spirit of God is of peace and love.

Romans 8: 6 "the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace"

The peace and love can be instruments of God's grace to touch other lives.

Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindnes, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." "let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other".

Phillipians 4:11-12 "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry...

Rhyse said that love is equal to the fruit of the Spirit. Compare 1 Corinthians 13 and Galatians 5.

cooking food

It was such an ordinary morning. I did not feel inspired to pray or worship the Lord. So, I took a shower, read some chapters in Exodus and Numbers. Then I opened the Cook Book and came up with ideas of what I need to buy. I chose three dishes: fried rice, Greek salat and grilled cheese sandwich. Then I took my bike and rode to the Pay Less. I spent 42 dollars. In Pay Less I met Keth who is a Missionary.

It was a litlle bit tough to go home but the Lord helped me a lot. I came home with two heavy plastic bags and my purse-bag. Immediately I started cooking fried rice. It turned out so delicios that I thought Whome can I invite for lunch or dinner.

The point of this post is to show you that God cares of our needs. Yesterday I prayed that the Lord would provide food to eat, cause I did not have it here at the new apartment. ANd He did!

Praise the LORD

The dream

Hello friends,
I received a phone call from Phil, my papa in America who told me that he had adream about me.

It started out that Sam and I were in the balcony, then Phil came in and I bursted into crying, so Phil hugged me and comforted.
Then he saw me living with different people.
Then I was in a box and looked too skiny. I asked him to take my coat from me.
And finally, Phil met Sam in cafeteria in his dream. Phil asked Sam, "Where is Katya?" Sam answered, "She is not here."

This dream conforms the reality of what I am going through. I have started to pack my belonging to move into a new house to live with a new person.
Secondly, Sam and I are not together anymore, thus the words "She is not here" implies to me that I am no longer in his life or in his heart. Thirdly, balcony to me means as if it is something that is oradined by God in the spirit. We have not goned there but were put in that place.
I guess according to the dream, I experience pain more that Sam does. No matter what and how the degree of my feelings of pain, I know that God is good and it is all for His glory. I am where I need to be, period!



Corrections:

"But the hope does not disappoint us, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit." Lord, we were apart for a season, but by Your great love and mercy You led us to be together. Thank You So Much!!!! You Are So Good!!! Lord, may there be a separation from the sin, rather than from the wonderful relationship given by Your outstanding grace. Thank you again, my Lord Jesus.

A new house and scholarship

Dear friends, I have good news.

The Lord provided the scholardship that reduces the price for tuition in 55%, THUS MAKING IT $3000 per semester. In addition, there is one openning in a Seminary House ($215 per month), thus this is an answer to the prayer if I could live somewhere but not in the house I am right now. Praise the Lord!

This morning I read from 2 Kings 8: 1-6 which pictures so well the situation I am in. The Lord speaks and conforms the plan and direction for me to go.

Now Elisha had said to the woman whose son he had restored to life, "Go away with your family and stay for a while wherever you can, because the Lord has decreed a famine in the land that wil alst seven years." The woman proceeded to do as the man of God said. She and her famile went away and stayed in the land of the Philistines seven years.
At the end of the seven years she came back from the land of the Philistines and went to the king to beg for her house and land. The king was talking to Gehazi, the servant of the man of God, and had said, "Tell me about all the great things Elisha has done." Just as Gehazi was telling the king how Elisha had restored teh dead to life, the woman whose son Elisha had brought ack to life came to beg the king for her house and land.
Gehazi said, "This is the woman, my lord the king, and this is her son whol Elisha restored to life." The king asked the woman about it, and she told him.
Then he assigned an official to her case and said to him, "Give back everything that belonged to her, including all the income from her land from the day she left the country until now."

A New Transition in Life

Hello dear friends and visitors!

I want to share with you an amazing journey that I have been walking.
On September 5, 2008 after an intimate and lon gprayer with My Maker,
I was riding the bycicle to campus and on my way this thought came to my heart:
SEMINARY. Let me also say that prior to that my summer has been great yet with a
determination to recieve an OPT (Optional Practicum Tranining ) to work coming year in teh area of my studies. However, that particular day, Friday, I had a life changing transition.

In addition, this summer I had expirienced a great friendship with Samuel Green. We had been a cute couple aslo until recently. Few days ago, we agreed that our goals and future destination differ from each other and therfore we have two different roads to walk. He is pursuing a perforamnce degree in opera and I am studying in the seminary to be a minister.

Corrections: Lord, You Are Above our thoughts and ways. I repent for judging so quickly Your divine plan. Now, as we are back together with Sam, forgive me for the words spoken in unbelief. Father, we are both want to be used by You the Way You destined us to do. Create and Shape by Your design. I hope that You will open a vision and a door for us both to be in a united vision and goal. May we be a team that edifies and fulfills Your desires across the nations. I Love You Father.

Because of this change in our relationship, I had been praying and seeking God's will about possibly moving out to a seminary housing. It appeared to me that it will be beneficial in many areas: from close proximity to school, to being a way from a constant seeing Sam at the house. Well, several people appraoched me with a question whether I will stay at the house. But today I made a decision based on the clear understanding of the will of God. So, I just say " Thank You Father". I will move to the housing that You prepared a place for me. There is only one opening in a female two room apartment.

So these three transitions in my life right now, cause me to ponder and concern a lot, yet the Lord speaks to me this scripture: "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." He also put a song in my heart and spirit that day when Sam and I agreed on stopping our dating. These are the words to the song:

Come and worship only
To the One you love (x 2)

He who dwells in the shadow of Most High,
will find refuge in the wings of God (x 2)

Joy and gladness shout inside,
You annoint with oil my darkest night (x2)

Augustine

Breathe in me, Holy Spirit,
that my thoughts may be holy.
Act in me, Holy Spirit,
that my work , too, may be holy.
Draw my heart, Holy Spirit,
That I may love only what is holy.
Strengthen me, Holy Spirit,
To defend all what is holy.
Guard me, Holy Spirit,
that I may always be holy.

Phillips Brooks

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stroner men.

Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers.

Pray for powers equal to your tasks.