love and peace

My goal is to live every day with LOVE and PEACE. I think that other roles such as being a student, a mother (one day), a minister or any others are only additional species of who we are. But the life in the Spirit of God is of peace and love.

Romans 8: 6 "the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace"

The peace and love can be instruments of God's grace to touch other lives.

Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindnes, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." "let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other".

Phillipians 4:11-12 "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry...

Rhyse said that love is equal to the fruit of the Spirit. Compare 1 Corinthians 13 and Galatians 5.

cooking food

It was such an ordinary morning. I did not feel inspired to pray or worship the Lord. So, I took a shower, read some chapters in Exodus and Numbers. Then I opened the Cook Book and came up with ideas of what I need to buy. I chose three dishes: fried rice, Greek salat and grilled cheese sandwich. Then I took my bike and rode to the Pay Less. I spent 42 dollars. In Pay Less I met Keth who is a Missionary.

It was a litlle bit tough to go home but the Lord helped me a lot. I came home with two heavy plastic bags and my purse-bag. Immediately I started cooking fried rice. It turned out so delicios that I thought Whome can I invite for lunch or dinner.

The point of this post is to show you that God cares of our needs. Yesterday I prayed that the Lord would provide food to eat, cause I did not have it here at the new apartment. ANd He did!

Praise the LORD

The dream

Hello friends,
I received a phone call from Phil, my papa in America who told me that he had adream about me.

It started out that Sam and I were in the balcony, then Phil came in and I bursted into crying, so Phil hugged me and comforted.
Then he saw me living with different people.
Then I was in a box and looked too skiny. I asked him to take my coat from me.
And finally, Phil met Sam in cafeteria in his dream. Phil asked Sam, "Where is Katya?" Sam answered, "She is not here."

This dream conforms the reality of what I am going through. I have started to pack my belonging to move into a new house to live with a new person.
Secondly, Sam and I are not together anymore, thus the words "She is not here" implies to me that I am no longer in his life or in his heart. Thirdly, balcony to me means as if it is something that is oradined by God in the spirit. We have not goned there but were put in that place.
I guess according to the dream, I experience pain more that Sam does. No matter what and how the degree of my feelings of pain, I know that God is good and it is all for His glory. I am where I need to be, period!



Corrections:

"But the hope does not disappoint us, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit." Lord, we were apart for a season, but by Your great love and mercy You led us to be together. Thank You So Much!!!! You Are So Good!!! Lord, may there be a separation from the sin, rather than from the wonderful relationship given by Your outstanding grace. Thank you again, my Lord Jesus.

A new house and scholarship

Dear friends, I have good news.

The Lord provided the scholardship that reduces the price for tuition in 55%, THUS MAKING IT $3000 per semester. In addition, there is one openning in a Seminary House ($215 per month), thus this is an answer to the prayer if I could live somewhere but not in the house I am right now. Praise the Lord!

This morning I read from 2 Kings 8: 1-6 which pictures so well the situation I am in. The Lord speaks and conforms the plan and direction for me to go.

Now Elisha had said to the woman whose son he had restored to life, "Go away with your family and stay for a while wherever you can, because the Lord has decreed a famine in the land that wil alst seven years." The woman proceeded to do as the man of God said. She and her famile went away and stayed in the land of the Philistines seven years.
At the end of the seven years she came back from the land of the Philistines and went to the king to beg for her house and land. The king was talking to Gehazi, the servant of the man of God, and had said, "Tell me about all the great things Elisha has done." Just as Gehazi was telling the king how Elisha had restored teh dead to life, the woman whose son Elisha had brought ack to life came to beg the king for her house and land.
Gehazi said, "This is the woman, my lord the king, and this is her son whol Elisha restored to life." The king asked the woman about it, and she told him.
Then he assigned an official to her case and said to him, "Give back everything that belonged to her, including all the income from her land from the day she left the country until now."

A New Transition in Life

Hello dear friends and visitors!

I want to share with you an amazing journey that I have been walking.
On September 5, 2008 after an intimate and lon gprayer with My Maker,
I was riding the bycicle to campus and on my way this thought came to my heart:
SEMINARY. Let me also say that prior to that my summer has been great yet with a
determination to recieve an OPT (Optional Practicum Tranining ) to work coming year in teh area of my studies. However, that particular day, Friday, I had a life changing transition.

In addition, this summer I had expirienced a great friendship with Samuel Green. We had been a cute couple aslo until recently. Few days ago, we agreed that our goals and future destination differ from each other and therfore we have two different roads to walk. He is pursuing a perforamnce degree in opera and I am studying in the seminary to be a minister.

Corrections: Lord, You Are Above our thoughts and ways. I repent for judging so quickly Your divine plan. Now, as we are back together with Sam, forgive me for the words spoken in unbelief. Father, we are both want to be used by You the Way You destined us to do. Create and Shape by Your design. I hope that You will open a vision and a door for us both to be in a united vision and goal. May we be a team that edifies and fulfills Your desires across the nations. I Love You Father.

Because of this change in our relationship, I had been praying and seeking God's will about possibly moving out to a seminary housing. It appeared to me that it will be beneficial in many areas: from close proximity to school, to being a way from a constant seeing Sam at the house. Well, several people appraoched me with a question whether I will stay at the house. But today I made a decision based on the clear understanding of the will of God. So, I just say " Thank You Father". I will move to the housing that You prepared a place for me. There is only one opening in a female two room apartment.

So these three transitions in my life right now, cause me to ponder and concern a lot, yet the Lord speaks to me this scripture: "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." He also put a song in my heart and spirit that day when Sam and I agreed on stopping our dating. These are the words to the song:

Come and worship only
To the One you love (x 2)

He who dwells in the shadow of Most High,
will find refuge in the wings of God (x 2)

Joy and gladness shout inside,
You annoint with oil my darkest night (x2)

Augustine

Breathe in me, Holy Spirit,
that my thoughts may be holy.
Act in me, Holy Spirit,
that my work , too, may be holy.
Draw my heart, Holy Spirit,
That I may love only what is holy.
Strengthen me, Holy Spirit,
To defend all what is holy.
Guard me, Holy Spirit,
that I may always be holy.

Phillips Brooks

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stroner men.

Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers.

Pray for powers equal to your tasks.

deep hunger

What I feel inside my being is a deep hunger for the Living Christ. I long for Him in hours and minutes of a day. I pray and I sign...

Have you ever being in a place of spiritual drought? I believe that even in the religion a person can become a spritual prisoner. Yet Christ is faithful and He is the only one I need.

Dear Lord,

I am so bad today. It is like a a torture in my soul to become annoyed, angry, upset and discouraged. My mum is sufering because of that. I feel powerless and exhausted.

What shall I do?

I know I need to repent and change, but I can't.

Have I become too much selfish?

RULE in me by the HOLY SPIRIT.

In Father,

Katya

Invited to the Feast

I had a dream where I said to somebody:"Today is a feast!". Well, I thought I had only 4 dollars left to get food, but decided to stop by ATM machine and check the money, and as I said before, there were $163 dollars. I thanked the Lord!

Then today was the day of great dinner with Phil and Tara. They invited Ziyod and Lani, JM and me. I told them that would come, but today I felt so uncomfotable to go there, that I was looking for reasons not to go. WEll, Rhyse called and asked to postpone our dance practice fom 4 pm till 5:15pm, I agreed. Anyway, after having a productive time, We finished at 7 pm. Then we went to Panera were I treated her with a dinner as a feast.

Here is the story in the Bible that I just read:

"The kingdom of heaven is like a king who gave a wedding banquet for his son, and sent his servants to summon those who had been invited to the wedding banquet, but they refused to come.Again he sent other servants, saying, 'Tell those who are invited, Behold, I have prepared my banquet... everything is prepared; come to the wedding feast. But they were not concerned and paid no attention- they ignored and made light of the summons, treating it with contempt- and they went away, one to his farm, another to his business, while the others seized his servants, treated them shamefully and put them to death.

Then he said to his servants, th ewedding feast is prepared, but those invited were not worthy. So go to the thoroughfares where they leave the city- where the main roads and those from the country end- and invite to the wedding feast as many as you find. And those servants went out on the crossroads and got together as many as they found, both bad and good, the room which the wedding feast was helf was filled with guests. But when the king came in to view the guests, he looked intently at a man there who had on no wedding garment; adn he said, Friend, how did you come in here without putting on the appropriate wedding garment? And he was speechless )muzzled, gagged).

For many are called (invited and sumoned), but few chosen." Matthew 22:2-14

give to the poor

"Go and sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have the riches in heaven..." Matthew 19:21

Today, to my surprise I had $163.02 in my debit card. Praise the Lord! This is the last check from work on campus. I took off $20, 00 to get food and money for the laundry. Then I spent $50,00 for the Food of the poor (sorry, it should be in secret). And I have still $ 93.02 left. I know that it is aweful to live hungry and without money. There are some blessigns from that, but unless you receive some help, it's difficult.

Lord, I pray that you will change my mind and attitude toward poor, so that I will not remain wealthy on the earth but rich in heaven. Help me to be reminded to give to the poor everytime there is something to give. Oh Lord, help them soon!!!

Amen.
Another example that my friend just shared with me. At the grocery store, there was a man who at the counter did not have enough money to pay for the food and he asked the lady to take off some items. But the man behind him said, I will pay fo ryou whatever you have left.

Thank You Dear Lord!!!

Little children, you are of God- you belong to Him, ...

He Who is in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world.

1 John 4:4

I continue to pray and meditate about His presence inside me. I want to be a body, spirit and soul that contains the Holy Spirit, just as it is written in the New Testament.

you are living the life of the Spirit, if the Holy Spirit of God really dwells within you- directs and controls you. But if any one does not possess the Holy Sprit of Christ, he is none of His- he does not belong to Christ, is not truly a child of God. but if Christ lives in you, then although your natural body is dead by reason of sin and guilt, the spirit is alive because of the righteousness that He imputes to you. And if the Spirit of him Who raised up Jesus from the dead dwells in you, then He Who raised up Christ Jesus from te dead will also restore to life your mortal (short-lived, perishable) bodies through His Spirit Who dwells in you.

Romans 8:9-11

Poverty- source

I have wondered about an issue of poverty. Many times I heard and believed too that poverty is a demonic thing. So instead of having a compassion on people, we treat them as those possessed by devil. But when we ourselves become poor or step into their shoes, we discover how needy and unworthy we are, how desperate we are for God and mercy. When you are poor, you become to see the graces of God that in other times you take for granted. When you are poor, you feel low and humble, sometimes there is self-pity, but there is also a remorse. How can we say that poverty comes from devil? Why would God be so concerned for the poor and widowed, orphans and foreigners?

I want to look at the Word and search whether poverty is a demonic activity or whether it is not.
Help me the Holy Spirit to find the truth, so that my heart will not be wrong before God.

Amen.

Therefore the kigdom of heaven is like a human king who wished to settle accounts with his attendants. When he began the accounting, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents (probably about $10,000,000), and becuase he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and his children and everything that he possessed, and payment to be made. So the attendant fell on his knees, begging him, hHave patience with me and I will pay you everything. And his master;s heart was moved with compassion, and he released him and forgave him (cancelling) the debt. But that same attendant, as he went out, found one of his fellow attendants who owed him a hundred denarii (about twenty dollars); and he caught him by the throat and said, Pay what you owe! So his fellow attendant fell down and begged him earnestly, Give me time, and I will pay you all! But he was unwilling and went out and had him put in prison till he should pay the debt. When his fellow attendants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and told everything that had taken place to their master. Then his master called him and said to him, You contemptible and wicked attendant! I forgave you and cancelled al that great debt of yours because you begged me; and should you not have had pity and mercy on your fellow attendant, as I had pity and mercy on you? And in wrath his master turned him over to the torturers (the jailers), till he should pay all that he owed. So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you, if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses. Matthew 18:23-35

There are at least two dimensions in this parable (that I am aware of )

1. Why do people not want to pay back the debt? Most likely they do not have money at that moment, but also I think that it is our selfishness. WE think of ourselves and our needs as more important than others. For example, in this story, the first attendant pleaded to give him mercy, like saying I know I need mercy, give me that. THe second one, probably was more sincere , he could not pay the debt at that moment but was willing to pay later. I noticed even in my heart this tendency. AS I received freely 100 dollars, I knew I had to pay back to Jenny, but immediately our thoughts came: Well, I would like to spend this money on my needs. Maybe I should pay her back of that sum of money. This is completely wrong! Jesus gives supernaturally to cover our debts (not only financial ut spiritual), yet we continue to serve our own needs and desires.
2. The point of this story is to be willing to forgive freely and not hold offenses against those who made us wrong. I feel that I am also in this category. It is so hard in my heart to let go and freely love with compassion my sister Tori. But no matter what I feel, God's word says to "freely forgive your sister from your heart her offenses".

tax for Me and for you

"In order not to give offense and cause them to stumle- that is, to judge unfavorably and unjustly- go down to the sea and throw in a hook; take the first fish that comes up, and when you open its mouth you will find there a shekel. Take it and give it to them to pay the temple tax for Me and for yourself." Matthew 17:27

We do have taxes and debts here on earth. I like how Jesus showed that He will provide money, but make sure that you give them to pay for tax and debt. It is an answer to my prayer what to do with $100 dollars I received today. I have a debt to pay to my friend Jenny Jung, because I borrowed $100 to cover my negative balance on the debit card. I was so thankful to her and now it is to pay it back with God's divine provision.

Lord, blessed are Your ways, Your Divine Ways!

p.s. Look at the words "take it and give it to them to pay the temple tax for Me and for yourself."

Jesus lives in me, so He is concern with everything I am in. He is a major part of me, I am the least of me...

my dear Erin, thank you

I just came to my room, there was an envolopw on the floor for me. I picked it up and went to the restroom with it. The card's envelope said "psalm 23". By the way, for this semseter I received two cards with Psalm 23 from Karen and this was from Erin Davis (from fast meeting yesterday). I still cry and feel unworthy to accept what was inside.

There was 100 dollars.
I can't explain it. I just know that it's so humbling and compassionate. Thank You Lord!
Thank You Lord! Thank You for dear Erin. I will not forget hear, my dear Erin. Thank you.

The presidency of the U.S.

George Washington was not the first President of the United States. He was the first President of the United States under the Constitution we follow today. And the first seven Presidents are forgotten in history.

In 1781, John Hanson was elected as the first president in the U.S. Six other presidents were elected after him - Elias Boudinot (1783), Thomas Mifflin (1784), Richard Henry Lee (1785), Nathan Gorman (1786), Arthur St. Clair (1787), and Cyrus Griffin (1788) - all prior to Washington taking office
George Washington (1789-1797)
John Adam (1797-1801)
Thomas Jefferson (1801-1809)
James Madison (1809-1817)
James Monroe (1817-1825)
John Q. Adams (1825-1829)
Andrew Jackson (1829-1837)
Martin Van Buren (1837-1841)
William Henry Harrison (1841)
John Tyler (1841-1845)
James K. Polk (1845-1849)
Zachary Taylor (1849-1850)
Millard Fillmore (1850-1853)
Franklin Pierce (1853-1857)
James Buchanan (1857-1861)
Abraham Lincoln (1861-1865)
Andrew Johnson (1865-1869)
Ulysses Grant (1869-1877)
Rutherford Hayes (1877-1881)
James Garfield (1881)
Chester Arthur (1881- 1885)
Grover Cleveland (1885-1889)
Benjamin Harrison (1889-1893)
Grover Cleveland (1893-1897)
William McKinley (1897-1901)

"The chief purposes of a fst are to clear our heads and hearts, to practice the discipline of detachment from what we suppose to be our needs, and to focus on hearing God rather than lobbying of our own compromised sinfulness..." (p, 83).

Relating to the war in Iraq, I think that many Christians (including myself) consider that what 's going on there is what supposed to be happening. However, I do consider that violence and war is not God's way but it also could be his wrath on the nation... AS you see, I am not very familiar on this topic just as it seemed to me that's what it supposed to be. However, in this world there are so much bad going on, that we do need to take "spiritual " weapons to fight the enemy.

The spiritual weapons are fsting, prayer, worship, th Word of God, evangelism, healing, deliverance, discipleship and missionary. So may our hearts turn to God with these weapons, so that God could bestow grace upon the nations instead of wrath.

Amen

"And let us call the church to fasting and prayer in repentance for the destrauction our nation has influenced upon the people of Iraq" (qt. in Jim Wallis, p. 79).

"This military action has killed at least 10,000 Iraqis, about 900 American soldiers have died in Iraq." (p. 80)

"At no time has he or any other national leader, of either political part, called the notaion to apologize or repent for these volent abd highnanded acts." (p.81).

"As Christians, what shall we say to these things? We are called to serve a Lord whotaught his followers to turn the other cheek when attacked and to love their enemies. We should aslo recall the passionate exhortation of St. Paul, "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God... Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (p.81).

The newspaper "The Chronicle" for April 2008:

Has an article "'Adopt a Terrorist for Prayer' movement begins"

-The new web-based ministry, Adopt a Terrorist for Prayer (ATFP), helps Christians follow Jesus' instructions to love and pray for their enemies.

-The founder of ATFP is Dr. Thomas Bruce

-"It's all about connecting these prayer warriors to each other to see how others are praying, to encourage each other, to spread the word, and fight this Ward on Terrorism in a powerful and spiritual way."

- go to their website : http://www.myatfp.com/

SOME WAYS TO PRAY FOR TERRORIST:

• For heart changes


• For dreams and visions


• For irresistable pursuit by God's Spirit


• For inescapable proclamation of God's word


• For demonstration of God's grace


• For conviction of sins


• For freedom to respond


• Against spiritual blindness and bondage

Today most of the wolrd's people are poor-1.2 billion earn less than $1;

854 million are hungry.

• "The poor becoming hungrier while the appetites of the rich show little sich of subsiding. " (Jim Wallis p.73)

• "When we see a church that has fallen into accumulation and affluence, a church that is being consumed by its own consumption, we are witnessing a church that has fallen into idolatry." (Jim Wallis p.73).

My next comment is not relating to the poverty issue but just about colllege studying. I have thought that we spent so much time writing the papers (from 4 to 6 pages), yet the only thing we get back is the grade. The teacher is not discussing with us what our issues and point of view are. Do we grow if we just soak in our own thoughts? No response, no communication about what we write, why we write. I think that every student take an effort to put something valuable and meaningful in each paper (even if it it a sentence). It will be great if after spending so much time and energy in our papers, to be able to meet and talk with teachers and professors and hear their comments. WE need to grow and hear the responses from the older generation. The only time we hear their response is the group discussion. But have you noticed that not all people are comfortable to share and open in front of others? What is the purpose of writing all those papers, anyway? I love writing and searching the information, but after 4 years of college I question the fruitfullness of its approach.

Thanks

This morning I have been asked by Tori: "Can we live the rest 1,5 weeks in peace?" I asked her: "What does it require?" SHe said: "Just be kind to each otehr, but do not expact anything..." I told her: "I will try". WHen I came back to the room , the sorrow and diapoinment came on me: "Did she care for her convenience last weeks of finals or did she truly care for our relationship?" Becaue I thought it was her selfish desire to experience the last weeks of finals without anxiety and so forth, I was sad.

By the way, at around 11 am (still the morning), but I felt like the whole day run through and I was tired and exhuasted. So, I went to Haven and the Lord provided a meal for me for free.
My next class it at 2pm and before that time I am reading the book for another class.

By the way, when yesterday I was crying in my secret room, Danielle came and hugged me. She said : "Do you wanna talk?" I nodded No. I also did not feel trusty to share with her my feelings and what God was doing in me. TOday I met her on the way, she hugged me again, asked ferw questions. I do not feel the same toward her, but it could be just my bitterness and uneasy with the whole situation with Tori.

Thank you Lord,
for letting me go through this. I thought yeasterday that it is my lesson so that in future I would be able to keep silence in the group or public resistence.

I wonder how my mom is doing, probably busy. May the Lord with His angels guard her in all the ways and bring her safely to the U.S. I am looking forward to show her that "secret room", give her the pillow, feed her on campus, and cry in her shoulders.

It feels very lonely here. But I ahve Sarah and Rhyse who are a great support, as well as Phil and Tara. Of course the Lord is my help and support.

I will wait on Him,
He will console me. Praise to Him!