Reasons

It is Sunday in America. My mother had stayed for the night and we both went to the church. I came burdened and empty in my soul. There was no desire to greet people or even rejoice. This emotional condition stayed with me until the evenening. During the day, my mum and I ate a lot of different delicous food, but it did not relive us both from feeling alone and sad.

When she left home, to her apartment, I prayed and waited on the Lord. After reading few scriptures, the understanding came to me about the sutuation.

Let me tell you. Last night I was awakened by the dream. I saw Sam and there was another girl who did not notice him, but he followed after her. I, on the other hand, noticing Sam, pursueded some Christian activity. It was a group of young people who did something for the Lord. I remember thinking that I do my choice in pursuing Jesus and His activites, but it felt pain concerning Sam. Whe I awoke around 5 am, there was already feeling of discourgament and grief.

I remember going to church speaking ooutloud: It's been so long since we separated and you still concern about him. I counted months: It was about September, and not it is December: more than 3 months.

I analyzed and pondered about the other day: candles and carols night. I saw him at Reardon singing and feeling glad for him. However, it is when I saw him leaving the auditorium with anoth young lady. He gave us double hugs for both my mum and me and left. I wanted him to leave and just ignore the situation. So I waited to think about it and cast it aside and it came over me this Sunday.

Lord,
Thank You so much that even this situation are all redeamable. I thank you tha tby Your great mercy and plan You did not let me be int eh relationahip with Nick cause I will never be where I am other wise. Thank you that You, Jesus Are the One and Best. Give us courage to face the truth and despise the lost and Run after You.
You knwo that it is painful to me because at times I get hopeful and then experience a wave of hopeless days, etc. But You are my Victory and Together we will find stregnth. You are for me.
SO I pray that You would richly bless Samuel with Your presence and guidance. Forgive me for any offenses and griefs related to him. Let him live the way You ordanied for him and make him successful in all he does. I bless the relationships he chooses to engage in. May he be happy and restored to the fullness in Jesus Name.
God bless you.

Father, Thank you for Your Son Jesus. For Your precious free gift to believe and live in Christ.

In love, Katya